A Week since We Break: From Vinka's Pov

Oct 2

Many arguments and fights; you wanted to end this while I wanted you to fix this. The first day of heartbreak. Everything’s numb. Many tears fall down. Mad, grief, upset, all in one in my chest.
Just, why did you do this to me?
One thing's for sure, I’ve been thinking about what I shared and what I sent to that girl. I'm not intended to tarnish your reputation as well. It’s not just a temporary emotion.

Oct 3

I don’t think I can trust men. I mean even my dad hurt me.

Oct 4

I promised myself not to cry and convince myself it’s your loss. Turns out I’m still crying tonight. Maybe you’re my oxygen; my chest hurts, and I can hardly breathe since you’re gone. I love you still; I always will. Come and find me, Cit.
Heartbreak can’t even make me hate you. I love you still; I always will.

Oct 5

All my friends, and your friends as well, told me that I can find someone who’s much better than you; they remind me I’m pretty, smart, and way too nice for you. You know what? Deep inside, I kinda believe that. Remember what you did to me. It was so freakin' hurt, freakin' bad.
And we still keep the silence. Half of me misses feeling your warm embrace.
Here, in my room, I’m still crying. I love you still; I always will, Cit.

Oct 6

I've never felt heartbreak like this in my life. Every day my chest hurts, and I cry. You made me doubt myself and called me crazy. You pushed me away, instead of fixing this broken heart. It’s really hurt; I can’t take it. You never and don’t want to understand my feelings at all; you just care about yourself and your reputation.

Oct 7

We should’ve hung out together today. Watched the movie I really wanted to watch. Gone to the new place.

I should’ve held your hand today. I don’t want to cry anymore, but everything reminds me of you. And you don’t even care.

You deleted all of our memories, nothing left.

Deep inside, I miss you. I really miss you.

Almost a week, and we still keep the silence. I really want to die.

Let me die.

Let me be in peace

Oct 8

I dream of you. In my dreams, we’re craving to see each other. So when we meet, we keep holding hands. Because we know how vulnerable we are.

I can’t bring myself to hate you even though I hurt the most. Turns out I miss you every day and still love you.

And this silence still lingers; it frustrates me a lot. Let’s break the ice. Can we? Can you? Can I? I’m ready anytime. I have many things I didn’t say.

Let’s start again, go back to the start, if you want to.

But you might hate me now.

I love you still; I always will. Deni Winarta

-vic

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