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Tengah Malam

Aku adalah seorang Nyctophilia. Bagi kamu yang tidak tahu, Nyctophilia adalah kelainan  dimana seseorang menyukai kegelapan atau malam hari. Dalam gelap mereka menemukan kenyamanan jiwa. Mereka tidak suka siang, hingar bingar keramaian orang. Jika banyak orang yang takut gelap, justru seorang Nyctophilic (begitulah sebutan seorang Nyctophilia) cenderung merasa damai jika gelap atau malam hari.
Di bawah kuasa kegelapan khayalan dan imajinasiku bereaksi. Di bawah kuasa kegelapan aku bebas menjelma menjadi apa dan siapapun yang ku ingin. Di bawah kuasa pekat aku merasa perasaanku begitu peka. Seperti aku dapat terkoneksi dengan semesta saat gelap. Juga bersama gelap, bait-bait aksara dalam dadaku terlahir. Sebuah sensasi yang tak biasa yang aku pun tak bisa mendeskripsikannya secara eksplisit.
Lukaku yang lalu terasa nyata lalu pulih seketika karena gelap, walau kadang makin nyeri. Pikiranku jadi lebih jernih kala gelap jika dibanding kala hingar bercahaya. Aku memiliki keintiman dengan diriku sendiri dan sepi.
Dalam gelap, ku tuangkan semuanya. Amarah, kesedihan, kegembiraan, pokonya semua emosi ku tumpahkan di tubuh gelap. Aku bebas mau menangis atau tertawa atau bernyanyi. Meluapkan emosi tanpa ada yang tahu. Sisi diriku yang lain keluar dari tempat persembunyiannya. Sisi diri yang paling tersembunyi yang tak pernah ku pertontonkan pada orang lain.
Jika benderang disekitar. Di kamar, dengan lampu dimatikan adalah damai yang kucipta. Untuk lebih mengenal diriku, untuk lebih menyatu dengan semesta, untuk menjernihkan pikiran, untuk merangsang khayal bertumbuh, untuk lakukan dan menjadi apapun sebebasku.

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