Vinka's Library of Mind

The storm within me has known no rest. It visits in the hush between dawn and prayer, when the world still slumbers, and my thoughts grow loud. The earth spins swiftly on its axis, chasing the sun with relentless haste, yet here I stand—tethered, heavy, slow. My soul lags behind the march of men; I watch the days unravel like threads slipping from weary hands. I meet countless faces, radiant and certain, yet within me, doubt stirs like a restless tide. I ask myself,  Who am I in the vast decree of His creation?  A breath among storms, a grain among mountains, a spark that flickers, known only to the One who kindled it. The world teaches us to run—to build, to gather, to proclaim our worth upon fragile pedestals—but my heart whispers another truth: that to diminish oneself before the Divine is the only way to truly rise. For what glory can man claim when his end is dust, when his pulse is but a loan from the Almighty? I have seen men boast of their light, yet forget that light ...

(I made this on September, 3rd, 2025)   This September feels so heavy in Indonesia. Everywhere I turn, the news is filled with protests, anger, and heartbreak.  The unrest began in August, when public anger erupted over lawmakers’ lavish housing perks—benefits so excessive they felt like mockery against the struggles of ordinary people. That anger only deepened with the tragedy of Affan Kurniawan, a young motorcycle taxi driver killed by an armored police vehicle during a demonstration. His death, caught on camera, became a symbol of injustice and sparked a wave of grief and rage. That image has stayed with me, as it has with so many others. Now the unrest has spread across the country—Jakarta, Surabaya, Bandung, Makassar. Protesters fill the streets, government buildings and police stations are burned, and casualties keep rising. Security forces respond with tear gas, arrests, and armored vehicles, while leaders seem distant, even absent. Watching President Prabowo attend a m...

  Scrolling through old tweets, old photos, old group chats… it’s like opening a little time capsule where everything felt lighter, more full of connection, and like life hadn’t scattered everyone yet. That’s kind of feeling is grief, in a quiet, tender kind of way. You're grieving how life used to be. And it makes sense. Back then, you probably weren’t thinking about responsibilities, future plans, or staying connected—because everything just was. Friends were near, laughter was easy, and the world felt more within reach. As we grow up, people drift. Life paths split off in quiet ways. It doesn’t mean those friendships didn’t matter—they did. They shaped you. And even if they faded, the joy you felt back then was real, and yours forever. You’re not broken for missing what was. You’re human. Tender-hearted. Nostalgic. And that’s a beautiful thing. Realizing that life doesn’t always separate people with big, dramatic goodbyes. Sometimes it’s just distance, time, priorities shifting ...

Oh, how it feels to be someone’s muse—to live in their thoughts, to move their hands in art, to be the reason beauty takes form To exist not just in their world, but in their work—their sketches, their melodies, their quiet thoughts between moments. There’s something timeless about that kind of presence, something unspoken and golden. Like Camille Monet did for Claude Monet. There’s something beautiful about inspiring art simply by being loved, and I hope one day, I can be that source of beauty and emotion for someone too. I want to be remembered in brushstrokes and feeling. To be looked at the way an artist sees their favorite subject—not for perfection, but for the way light falls across your face, for the way your silence says everything. I want to be the color that changes with the seasons in someone’s painting. To be loved so deeply, so gently, that their hands cannot help but create. What a beautiful kind of immortality that is. —vic

Oh, how beautiful Hablum minallah is—our bond with Allah, pure and unwavering.     One thing I’ve deeply learned this Ramadan: Allah is never far; He is always near. No matter how far I may drift, His love never wavers—it always belongs to His creation. I may not be the most pious person, nor a scholar of faith, but I feel His love fully, without condition. He is the only One who accepts my flaws, who understands the depths of my heart without me needing to say a word.   His love is beyond my comprehension.   I used to feel so lost, so anxious about life’s uncertainties. But the more I seek to understand Him, the more I realize that His promises are clear and true. He asks His creation to be grateful, to surrender, to trust in Him. And in return, He grants peace—deep, undeniable peace. And one of the most memorable experiences this Ramadan was my chance to itikaf. Spending the night in the mosque, surrounded by people with the same purpose—to draw closer to...

The storm has raged for many days, battering us with its relentless winds and waves. But now, let us pause—take a moment to rest and thank God for seeing us through. We’re still here, still standing strong, still holding on. The storm could not tear us apart, and for that, I am deeply grateful. I thank God for everything—for the chance to walk this ferocious road together, hand in hand. Our ship still sails, though battered, refusing to sink.     Compromise—this is what we’ve learned and continue to learn. It’s not easy, but we try, recognizing that we are only human, prone to mistakes and imperfections. We’ve seen each other’s flaws, yet we choose to stay, to keep learning and growing together.   It’s through compromise, honest communication, and keeping a cool head that we’ve found ways to rethink our own inclinations. We’ve carried scars, both old and new, but we’re committed to healing them. Healing is not a destination but a journey, and as we walk this path, we...